


Hear Me Out

by Blame Canada (OneHitWondersAnonymous)



Series: South Park Drabble Bomb: May 2017 [4]
Category: South Park
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Food Kink, Food Porn, Ice Cream, M/M, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Prompt Fic, Rimming, Seriously this is straight up just porn, yeah it's probably what you're thinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-31
Updated: 2017-05-31
Packaged: 2018-11-07 09:09:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11055834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneHitWondersAnonymous/pseuds/Blame%20Canada
Summary: 'Hear me out' was a very specific thing that Kyle said that always prefaced something utterly ridiculous, and was always sexual in nature. It didn't mean it wasn't hot, of course, or that Stan wasn't interested. Kyle simply had a Summer Sexual To-Do List every year that needed completing, and Stan was the lucky target.Submission for the fifth day of the May 2017 South Park Drabble Bomb: Ice Cream. Rated E for sexual content. Basically entirely.





	Hear Me Out

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyyyy guys. So I'm just gonna drop this right on here and run. Please be gentle; this is my first attempt at something nsfw so I'm really nervous about posting it, but I wanted a challenge. This is my submission for the May 2017 South Park Drabble Bomb day five prompt: ice cream. Check out more great entries on Tumblr at URL spdrabblebomb!
> 
> One last warning/disclaimer: Please do not do this at home kids. Seriously do not.

“Okay…. Hear me out.”

They were a famous three words. It was common knowledge between them, actually, that they were a famous three words. They always had the same implication. When Stan had first pointed it out, he’d acted so nonchalant about it, as though he had no idea what he was talking about to accuse him of such nefarious intents. Now though, when Stan slowly and dramatically slid his gaze to face him, the smug grin on his face told an entirely different story. The little shit knew _exactly_ what he was implying.

“Kyle, I swear to God…”

“Ah!” Kyle held up one finger, effectively shutting Stan up. He pouted instead, and Kyle went on, the smirk on his face in no way relenting. “I said hear me out.”

“I never consented to doing that. Kyle, come on,” Stan leaned in to whisper harshly, “we’re in _public,_ for fuck’s sake. Can you _wait?”_

Kyle leaned in to match him, and his breath was suddenly cool on Stan’s face. Goosebumps flared up along his arms at the sensation. “Well, if we’re going to lean in like this, I take that as a sign that you’re actively interested in what I am about to propose.”

Stan groaned. He was right. They really were right out in the open, too, on a picnic table facing a dump of a pond. He hoped it wasn’t anything too outrageous, but honestly, asking as much was almost out of the question. ‘Hear me out’ meant outrageous by nature.

“Well, we haven’t done anything especially… Exotic, in the bedroom, as of late.”

“Kyle, last week you had me hogtie you and half-drown you in the bathtub. Which was hot! I admit, it was hot,” he exclaimed, as Kyle’s face warped into offended shock. Stan looked around quickly, stealing glances from every parent in a fifty-mile radius and feeling absolutely exposed and disgusting, which Kyle probably got off on too. God _damn_ , his boyfriend was nasty.

“Look, you’re into a lot of downright weird shit, and I love you, _very_ much, _clearly,”_ Stan said, exasperation dripping from every syllable, “but can we please just do one mundane couple thing this summer without getting wrapped up in your sexual to-do list?”

“Nope,” Kyle said, taking a long lick from his ice cream cone in what was surely meant to be seductive but only half worked in his favor. Stan had never really seen someone pull that off in real life. He rolled his eyes. “Besides, you said yourself that was in the bathtub. That doesn’t count.”

“Oh my- yes it does!” An elderly woman shot an icy glare at him, and Kyle laughed while he hunched over to hide his embarrassment for having yelled. Stan hated how much Kyle was winning this conversation, so much. “Fine. What am I hearing out?” He spoke in a defeated mutter. Kyle’s smile was sly and proud.

“Oh, that’s funny you should ask, Stan!” He rolled his eyes again and took one of the last few bites of his cone, chewing carefully. It was painfully cold on his sensitive molars. “This ice cream has been just _so_ delicious, I was thinking. The way it melts and dribbles over the cone and onto your fingers, a mess but so undeniably delicious-“

“Please just get to the point.”

“I want you to eat ice cream out of my ass.”

Stan sputtered and choked on his cone, very much fearing for his life as a jagged chunk stabbed at the back of his throat. Kyle, the sick bastard, watched him, even as tears pricked at the corners of his eyes at the strain of the hacking he was enduring to regulate himself. When his coughs began to quiet down, he powered on, having waited to continue only to be sure Stan heard him.

“Honestly, we’ve done much stranger, and I don’t think it’s too big of a deal-“

“Kyle,” Stan rasped, _“please.”_ Kyle offered the small cup of water they had on hand and he downed it in one chug. “This is the worst idea you’ve ever had. Why.”

Kyle blinked at him, as though he should have been on board thirty seconds ago. “Well, I can’t imagine it being much different from the way people use whipped cream, though we may need to get a little creative with actually putting it inside me.” He dropped his chin to rest over his fist, deep in thought. “I don’t know how well that will work without some sort of device, maybe a speculum? We may have to wing it, or maybe we shouldn’t insert anything at all. I’m actually not too sure about that part. Maybe we shouldn’t put it actually inside. You can just lick it off, I don’t know. Wouldn’t that be great, though? I’d get off, you’d get ice cream; everybody wins!”

Stan looked down at the last few bites of ice cream cone he had left, but the conversation had him feeling opposed to finishing it. He set it down on the table beside him and sighed. “You’re the worst, you know that?” The giggling beside him told him that yes, Kyle was aware that he was the worst. “I said I’ll try anything once.”

Kyle half-raised a fist in celebration, an extended “yesssss” hissing from his lips. Stan groaned at him.

“I have done so much for you. Don’t ever forget it.”

“I could never.” Kyle smiled sweetly then, and even though Stan still saw a hint of condescension in his eyes, the quick kiss he planted on his cheek wiped his mind of negative thoughts. “We’ll stop at the store on the way home. You can pick any flavor you like.”

“Oh, goodie,” Stan mumbled, but truth be told, he was curious. Even if he was a little weirded out by the inclusion of food, he did quite enjoy Kyle’s ass. At worst, the ice cream would be a distraction, and at best, he’d be getting something sweet out of the deal. It really wasn’t all that obscene. It was hard to look the cashier in the eye as they purchased nothing but a seemingly innocent tub of ice cream, though.

 

* * *

 

“Y’know,” Stan panted, melted ice cream dripping from his mouth and down his chin to get caught in his chest hair, “this really _isn’t_ the weirdest thing we’ve done. It’s not bad.” Kyle’s thighs quivered, and he turned back to glare at him with a high-pitched whine in the back of his throat.

“Don’t stop, asshole!”

“Okay, hold on, I want more first.” Kyle groaned low and impatient, and Stan snorted at him. He used a slippery spoon to scrape out a small scoop of mostly-melted strawberry ice cream and he placed it in his palm. With one hand firmly gripping Kyle’s ass and the other poised with ice cream in his fist, he pressed it into the small of Kyle’s back with his thumb, letting it drip slowly down the insides of his legs and perfectly down the shaft of his dick. Kyle whimpered, his muscles twitching erratically at the sensation, and Stan smirked before leaning in to spread the last of the ice cream over his asshole before lapping it up in slow, methodical licks.

Kyle moaned Stan’s name and sunk closer to the floor, but Stan took hold of both his thighs before he could move out of his range. He felt the ice cream smear into his face but cared only about how sweet it tasted and how much sweeter it was that it was spread all over Kyle’s body. He cleaned the last of it from him with three long swipes of his tongue, pressing his nails into soft flesh to chain him in place. Kyle’s mumbling turned unintelligible, and Stan felt a surge of pride. He released him from his hold and Kyle dropped down a few inches suddenly without the hands to stabilize him. He panted in half of a daze while Stan carefully flipped him onto his back and slid his hands around from under his ass to press his thumbs into his stomach in one sweeping motion. The light pink ice cream spread over his pale skin easily, and Stan liked the way it looked on him. He should wear pink more often.

“What are you,” Kyle began to ask, breathless, but he stopped in between gentle gasps for air to start… giggling? Stan gave him a confused stare, but he continued to laugh, half rolling to his side and covering his mouth with one hand. “Y-your face!” He finally wheezed, and Stan slapped a hand up to his cheek to discover that his face was _definitely_ still covered in ice cream. They looked into each other’s eyes for a moment, Kyle’s particularly hazy and full of mirth, and they burst into a wild fit of laughter. Stan fell over and into Kyle’s chest, who turned his head to the side while he coughed through his laughing fit. “Oh my god, oh my god,” he repeated, losing his air every time he began to laugh again, and Stan pressed his forehead into his sternum, trying to catch his own breath.

“I’m sorry, that was a really bad idea,” Stan said, and Kyle shook his head.

“No, that was hilarious!” He started up again and squeezed his eyes shut as tears collected in them. Stan took the moment to sit up and wipe his face clean, or as clean as he could manage without a full-on shower.

“This is such a mess.” Stan gestured at all of Kyle, who was half-covered in strawberry soup at that point.

“At least we had the sense to do it on the kitchen tile.” Kyle shrugged, but he was grinning, and he reached up to take Stan’s face in both his hands and lick along his pronounced jawline. “Thank you,” he whispered into the shell of Stan’s ear, who shivered at the contact.

“You know what,” Stan said, and he gently took Kyle’s hands in his own to press them back into the tile above his head. “We’re not done here.”

Kyle looked genuinely confused. “We’re not?”

“Nope.” Stan shook his head and ran his hands slowly down Kyle’s arms all the way to his pelvis, where he rocked into his touch with a quick buck. “We ruined all this ice cream. I wanna use it.”

“Like how?” Kyle asked, suspicious but excited, and Stan purposefully didn’t answer. He didn’t bother with the messy spoon and scooped some of the ice cream straight into his hand. With his palm and fingers sufficiently coated in cold liquid he suddenly wrapped them firmly around Kyle’s dick, and he gasped loudly at the combined sensation of touch and cold. Their giggle fit had let him go partially soft, but Stan’s careful stroking worked against the cold and quickly brought him back to a full erection, his body heating up while his breaths grew choppy again.

“Like this,” Stan said slowly, voice husky, and he teased the tip of Kyle’s dick with a mixture of ice cream and his own pre-cum.

“A-ah,” Kyle gasped and shuddered, his eyes fluttering closed behind gentle lashes, “that’s really cold. Feels weird.”

“Yeah?” Stan asked, if only to hear Kyle mumble an affirmative ‘mhm,’ before he recoated his hands and slathered his cock with more of a sugary mess. Kyle shivered with his touches until he lowered his head and took Kyle’s length into his mouth slowly, bit by bit, with his tongue lapping at the ice cream still dripping from it. Kyle’s back arched and he reached down to take a fistful of Stan’s hair, which was always welcomed. When he took a deep breath through his nose and took the entirety of Kyle’s cock into his mouth and throat, Kyle cried out desperately, and gripped his hair even tighter.

_“Fuck,_ Stan,” Kyle gasped as he resisted fucking Stan’s throat, and said man only made it harder to do so by using a free hand to tease at his hole still slick with ice cream and saliva. Stan removed himself far too quickly with a soft ‘pop’ and sat up, reaching for a towel and lubricant to coat his finger in it and wipe down the excess on Kyle’s body that his tongue hadn’t licked clean. “What’re you doing?” Kyle asked for real that time, and Stan only smiled slyly as he used the spoon from before to take a bite of ice cream into his mouth.

“Just playing with my food,” he said, and he took most of Kyle’s cock in his mouth with one motion, swirling cool ice cream against his skin with his tongue. Kyle’s moan was breathy and eager, and Stan used the momentum to work one finger inside him. It was tighter than usual, as a byproduct of the cold he was inflicting. He didn’t mind working harder to prep him.

Even with a finger in his ass and his dick in Stan’s mouth, Kyle couldn’t resist teasing him. “That was a, _ah,_ a pretty good one,” he panted, a slight chuckle falling from his lips between expletives. “Find it on the internet?”

Stan came up for air with his face twisted in pretend insult. “I’m hurt, Kyle. You give me no credit.” He quirked his finger deeper and up to tease closer, to stimulate him further, and Kyle choked on a gasp at the sensation.

“You’re playing dirty,” Kyle warned, but his words had no bite as Stan repeated his action from before and sucked freezing cold ice cream from his cock painfully slowly. He moaned, the sound low and drawn out, and he gripped Stan’s hair even tighter. He carefully pressed a second finger inside him, and Kyle tried to sloppily force them deeper with his hips. Stan took his time working him up, stretching his hole with sticky fingers and feeling the twitching of his dick with each twist of his tongue over the sensitive spots.

Stan pulled back, dragging his tongue along the bottom of Kyle’s shaft and spending an extra second to taste the mixture of salty and sweet on the head before he replaced his mouth with his hand. He pumped slowly and forcefully, relishing in the way Kyle still fell to squirming mush under his physical command. “You don’t mind if we finish this traditionally, do you?” He asked, and Kyle shook his head and bit his lip to muffle a whine while he pulled his fingers out.

“Jesus, I’m getting to it.” Stan muttered, reaching for the condom and lube. At the end of the day, Kyle’s ‘hear me out’s generally meant he wanted to get an old fashioned fuck by the end of it, and he was happy to oblige. After a few meaningful strokes to his own cock, he rolled the condom on, slathered it in lube, and used one hand to guide himself into the hole he’d diligently prepared and the other to grip Kyle’s hip, hard.

Kyle’s entire body shuddered beneath him, and Stan couldn’t help but smile at the imagery. Stan liked to watch him while they fucked in missionary. He just always looked so beautiful, his faces alone practically enough to make him come, the way his eyes scrunched up while his mouth fell open at the sensations Stan gave him with each thrust.

Stan shivered too when the entirety of his cock filled Kyle, and he grabbed at Kyle’s hips with both hands to keep him in place as he drove himself in and out with practiced speed and accuracy. Kyle’s entire body slid back and forth over the tile so rapidly his skin squeaked on contact. They continued with the only sounds between them the slapping of wet skin and gasping breaths. Kyle’s eyes shot open and he inhaled sharply as Stan brushed deeper inside of him. He began to mumble between gasps, stuttering through Stan’s name and swearing when Stan clumsily took his neglected cock in his hand and began to pump it in earnest.

Stan grew dizzy the closer he got to climax. Kyle’s noises got more desperate, shorter with each breath. His arms floundered with nothing to grip in his fingers, instead groping at the flat floor in a frantic attempt to ground himself that failed miserably. Stan saw it in his peripherals and decided he very much wanted them clawing at his back instead. He sunk his teeth into Kyle’s collarbone, sucking hard and biting harder the closer he got to coming. Kyle’s nails began to rake over Stan’s shoulder blades, and he moaned into the hickey he was hyper-focused on turning into a glaring bruise.

Kyle’s voice always got higher in pitch the closer he got, and when he started practically whining between breaths, Stan pulled himself back upright to pump him harder. His eyes began to roll back with each thrust of Stan’s hips and his breaths grew increasingly shallow, and Kyle came with a cry of Stan’s name between breathy gasps, his legs twitching and back arching off the kitchen tile. The way his body shook felt like heaven on Stan’s cock, and it didn’t take him much longer to finish inside him as well, feeling the warmth built up in his pelvis wash over him and make the tips of his fingers and toes tingle.

They gasped at each other for a short while as they regained their senses and regularity, locking eyes and sharing the haze of fulfilled lust that was always mesmerizing to witness. Stan was about to properly pull out when Kyle reached a weak hand up to wipe his thumb across his cheek. He brought it to his tongue to suck the remnants of ice cream from it, snickering, “you missed some.” Stan rolled his eyes, and they laughed.

“This is going to take a lot of cleanup on all fronts,” Stan said while wiping himself and Kyle off one last time with the towel.

“Yeah, but it was pretty hot.” Kyle smirked. “That was an incredibly smooth line, for being in the heat of the moment. I’m impressed.” Stan hummed his appreciation for the compliment. When he stood and offered his hand for Kyle to join him, he looked down to find more ice cream he’d missed on his chest.

“Come on. I feel like I need to shower for like, an hour.”

“Maybe two,” Kyle added with a nod in agreement, and after scooping up the soiled sheets and capping the ice cream tub, they headed to the shower, where they would kiss softly under the water and touch gently in the places they’d marked each other: the fitting conclusion to the ‘hear me out’ tradition.


End file.
